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I have always dreaded certain parts of weddings.  Certain traditions exist at wedding receptions especially, and nobody really knows why they exist at all.  Here are my most dreaded wedding traditions that we could stand to lose.

1.  The chicken dance.  Who thought up this one?  The music that goes with it is terrible, everyonen looks and feels stupid doing it.  The one plus may be that kids love it.

2.  The hokey pokey.  See number one.

3.  The garter.  This is the most cringe-worthy wedding occurence.  Having your dress lifted up and your garter taken off?  It’s downright obscene.  Even worse, I have seen boys of ten catch the garter and put it back on the unfortunate girl who caught the bouquet.

4.  Feeding each other cake.  This one isn’t too bad, unless it elevates to smashing cake into each other’s faces.  Never smear cake in a woman’s face on her special day.  It’s just not right.

5.  Dancing with everyone.  A first dance between the bride and groom while all the guests watch is ok.  But, when the bride dances with her father, then her father-in-law, her grandfather, etc… it gets a little boring for the rest of us.  One dance for show and then open the floor!